24 April 2009

Insignificant nights

So there I was.... sitting in a university pub at 11pm listening hanging around shit people and more importantly listening to shit music... i thought to myself... i actually don't want to be here...
Having just finished the novel 'Wolf on Wall Street' by Jordan Belfort, a Stokebroker from who turned made him self into a Billionaire in the space of 5 years from age 26-31...

so i have 3 years left to find my niche!



So in the meantime i decided while in the middle of a nothing conversation with a average looking girl i figured i may aswell make my own fun and take note of the playlist just to let you know our readers how bad it actually was.

11.30pm and for the next 2.5 hours is the peak time for D Floors across Dublin (2.30am Close is a real pr*ck!) And what better way to kick of proceedings than with 3 tracks that would get any F Class Dancefloor rocking... 'aint no party like a S Club Party!'into 'Ill tell u what i want what i really really want' and if the young lases werent exited enough by 'Dj battleshard' play list out comes Back Streets Back, ALRIGHT!.

So after that build up i needed to sit back and take it all in.. still 'drizzling' away ( Quote Jordan Belfort) on comes the next track which was a new one for me Alesha Dixon with The Boy does nothing. However i interpeted it as 'That boys got nothing' which inn the situation i was in was right on the make so i just coped it on the chin and starrted to chug back a the pints abit quicker.

The next 3 tracks were classics.. it started out with just the first verse of Kenny Rogers 'The Gambler'. Now i had 2 issues with this effort from 'dj gimpazoid'... firstly when your working a playlist u genrally keep along the same beat and genre to keep the crowd moving in the same direction.. and the genre that had been played was 'rubbish' so therefore he was now pllacing this classic along side these tracks... secondly cutting the track after the first verse when he had just played is like kicking a drunk kenny rogers in the guts while hes passed out on the street. just not acceptable!

Never the less out camme Elton Johns Midnight Train and Johnny Cashs Ring of Fire and all of a sudden abit of respectabily was coming back to this place.

Then on the couches we were sitting on watching the place get to packed a a drunk couple decided to sitt right next to me.. and when i say right next to me i mean pritty much ontop of me and start mauling each other... and as this was occuring on comes a track i didnt know 'Dancing at the crossroads', however the 50 strong crowd of young lasses who knew all the words to SClub,Spice Girls and Shake Shake were all back up singing and carrying on so i nknew i had to break loose, and the safest place right now was the smoking area.

As i get up i get an accidental push from a random which causes me to accidently spill some beer on a girl in front of me... she turns and 'what the fuck was that u stupid fucking asshole wanker!'
the girl was half attractive otherwise she would have recieved a real backlash however i kept it tame having an aguement that i wasnt going to let her win.. only letting out the words 'fuck' 'pull out' and 'mole' in context... Then over comes the hero to save the day.. who was a super gimpy looking guy who was smaller than me and 1 on 1 i would of taken no doubt.. anyway he played the tough guy role infront of the chicks and that was that.. ciga time!

on the way back in we happened to cross paths again she gave me a evil look and i gave her one back.... so back to the playlist and on comes 'Roads of Donegal', an irish classic.. as i find my way back on the couch (the mauling couple had left) having another pointless conversation i think how did life get so great!! and then comes one of the best 1 hit wonders.. Cumbawumbas I get knocked down... but i get up again.. another big swig of the pint annd its time to break the shackles... and with that im on my feet dancing like a nob... the only good thing about it was there was 80% nobs in the room so i didnt stand out... and just like Dj Hopeless heard my call on comes Bon Jovi's Living on a Prayer and Bryan Adams Summer of 69!! The peak of the night had arrived!!..

But like the rest of the night just when i was getting exited on comes yi yi yeah Coco Jumbo! now i will admit i brought this single.. but i was also 11 years old For Focks Sake! another 1 hit wonder.. anyway time for critizing Dj DipShit had finished as i was in that zone..

making all my best moves on the dancefloor i struck a few conversations with some more average looking chicks who all had the same response 'OMG your Australian' when i first arrived 11 months ago it was great.. a novalty... now it was just annoying.. anyway out of the blue that witch who i had the fight with earlier that night was doing the old backup move in my direction... and i thought the nerve of it coming into my territory!

Next thing i know we are talking and after the 'OMG your Australian' routine she apoligied and we started kept on the drunken dancfloor chats where u only take half of what each other is saying partly because its loud and partly because u only have 1 thing on your mind.. to score!

So its about2am and last drinks are called.. thats 2 tracks left i think.. what gold can he possibly have left up his sleave after tonights set!

'Biggggg Girrrrrls Donnnnt Cryyyy' Ahhh yes just what i need to try and show off my best moves.. never the less she went the backup move into me and hands were held.. its this momment u know ur in.. just have to find the right moment to plant one...

And on come the lights.. and althought i personally would have thought this is when Kenny Rogers - The Gambler should have been played in full as it deserved but anyway DjHomma finished strongly with the Hit single fromDirty dancing.. Ive had the Time of my life... and i owe it all to you! we sing to each other as if we really mean it but both know that shits only real in movies!

So that concludes the Evenings Playlist... and really if that guys is gett plays several hundred € to pump out that rubbish a few nights a week i can definatly find a DFloor to make my own..

Thats another story though..

For now Get me to Booka Shade Tommorow night!!



Kenny Rogers - The Gambler MP3

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